Dream, Journey, and lessons


          The Dream, my dream, well depending on when I've been asked that question, I feel like that’s always been different. When asked to write about it for OVROUT I really had to stand back and self-reflect on what is my dream?  While I’m creeping up on 30, I’m far from being on that exact path of accomplishing the task of my dream I've had many, but one thing that’s very consistent in the paths I've adventured on has been I don't want to be average. Sure, money is one way I've looked at not being average not being broke, that’s a huge plus and strong move to not being average. Going to engineering school and then finally finishing with Criminal Justice all in the terms of finding a career that isn't average. Older I've gotten I have realized yes, the 9-5 you go to defines you to some extent but it’s not everything. I spent a good part of a decade training Jiu jitsu received my black belt all on the path to setting myself up cause I wanted to be a cop. I spent tens of thousands of dollars on gear and ammo and endless nights training on firearms cause if I was able to get in to that career, I still never wanted to be average. Even as a kid I've always had the work ethic to try and be the best, the stand out, the king of the fucking hill, run faster, jump higher.

         So here I am, I'll be 29 in January working an insurance job for a hospital. I bring that same drive into a cubical day after day over a year in, not making shit trying to find a bigger picture to it all, while grinding trying to find the path to the top of this hill. Now you may ask what happened to the dream to being a cop to not be average, well politics happen as far as who they want and partying in college on a back ground check has kinda screwed me for now.... The dream is still there but I have to make moves and never stop cause no one is waiting on me.  No one will hand you your dream but there is a bitter sweetness to grinding to the top that when you sit back and look at it you know you’re not average. Did I mention I work cubical shifts 5 days a week and run a night club on the weekends? Yea talk about a change in pace. Civil corporate work 40hrs+ a week by day putting that work in making sure the hospital gets their millions so I get my crackers. Then I clock out and use all the training I spent the last decade on honing to be a cop at a night club. I’m far from the super heroes that I grew up watching but that double life is a hundred percent real.  Stay awake grind for 24-48hrs and still produce during the day time, yet by night I’m out here gator rolling guys and getting shot at.

 Sleep? people ask me about that a lot, I laugh what is sleep sometimes I believe I work nonstop just to see how far I can push it cause’ I know everyone else gave up and are in bed. Sleep in on the weekend not at all you'll catch me at the range or the dojo though. Honing skills that let me stay ahead of a pack because what I've learned is its knowing that everything in this world is fabricated. The status, the jobs the, corporate world is fabricated shit that we have been socialized to conform to.  But when you strip that away what and who are people?  What do you bring to the table? Personally I have a grind that doesn't stop, the will to, no matter the subject. I use my short temper to get pissed off instead of pissed on and be a shark in water and become obsessed with whatever is at hand and have value as a person not just what my title says at my cubical.

            Have I succeeded in building my dream? The short answer is no. I've came to the fork in the road and drove straight more than my fair share of times. While I’m young I’m self-aware enough to know I’ll probably do that quite a few more times before I quit breathing too. I know I won't quit that I do know. I’m forever hunting for that next door to open just in the slightest so I can try and kick it off its hinges. To be honest my whole college career papers like this right here is shit I hated the most so when Andrew asked me to write I immediately agreed. Not cause of materialistic shit but cause’ it pushes me in new areas and makes me evolve. I’m not the person that opens up talks about shit I was raised to show no emotions cause’ that’s what men do. More I do the better I get though; I’ll take on any challenge head on and grind and learn everything I can from it.  So to end this so I don't give you a whole bio to read that you may not have time to read and add to the run on sentences and other grammar issues that may have happened, I will keep swimming towards the dream working to be not just another face in the crowd and to contribute to the pack that we call society.




Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published